The 7 conversations to have before you get married.

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The seven (or eight) year itch still exists – but you CAN beat it, here’s how:

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Love doesn’t conquer all, but asking the right questions can.

There are 7 critical things to talk about before your wedding day, to ensure your marriage lasts.

Relationship expert Dr Karen Phillips has devoted her life’s work to mending broken marriages. She says the average marriage lasts less than 8 years, and has seen first hand the issues that arise throughout a relationship.

She believes the key to a strong marriage is addressing the big issues before the wedding day.

Her new book ‘OMG we’re getting married – 7 essential things to know before we say I Do’, highlights the topics couples should discuss before they tie the knot.

  1. When Me becomes We, everything we do has an effect on our partner.
    Once married we are no longer alone in our journey. Each and every decision we make is going to effect are partner, and subsequently the marriage.

2. How to communicate with your partner in an open and honest way by providing a safe place to do so.
Communication is drilled into us as the key to a happy marriage. Dr Karen Phillips believes that establishing good communication skills before issues arise is the best way to deal with problems that surface later down the track.

3. Transparency in all finances.
Discussing finances pre-wedding is just as important as being transparent once they become ‘our’ finances. Hidden discrepancies lead to mistrust in a relationship and acknowledging hidden debt early is the first step to an honest relationship.

4. Understand the expectation of how your partner can demonstrate their love and respect for you in every day life.
Being on the same level is essential to making day to day life easier. Having unrealistic expectations from the outset is always going to leave one partner feeling disappointed.
Understand that your partner make not think the same way you do or express feelings or affection in the same way.

5. Recognise the level of intimacy required in the relationship.
It is important to know the level of intimacy needed to sustain a happy relationship, as the moments you share together alone are some of the most important in your relationship.

6. Know and accept their family, as your partner is a reflection of them.
Any level of animosity with your partner’s family puts added tension onto the relationship. If you are able to diffuse any issues before the wedding day, life is likely to run much smoother.

7. Ensure both partners are open and translucent in all areas of their life.
This comes back to communication. If a couple is open and honest, issues can often be diffused before they cause any damage to the relationship. Working through problems before the wedding day allows people to enter into a marriage with a much better understanding of their partner.

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Lucy Bortolazzo

CONTRIBUTOR

Lucy is a journalism graduate who feels most at home when wandering the streets of foreign cities. She has a passion for design, travel and everything food, and uses the excuse “I’m curious” to explain just about everything.

2 thoughts on “The 7 conversations to have before you get married.

  1. Emma says:

    Brilliant article, I’m certainly getting this book. If we all know this stuff I believe divorce would decline for sure. The whole idea of when me becomes we is fabulous, so important. Thank you

  2. Fiona Thompson says:

    Thank you for the article, I am buying this book. I am in my second relationship, just married 2 years ago and already can see things heating up. I truly love my man but after reading these tips we are going to really talk. Thanks so much x

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