The Ultimate Guide to No Strings Attached Sex – According to Science

Sex with no-strings-attached can be the ultimate sexual pleasure, and it doesn’t have to end there if you stick to the rules of science.

No-strings-attached sex has the potential to encourage sexual growth and exploration, but too often it ends up just emotionally messy.

Mila Kunis in Friends With Benefits

Stick to B.B’s no-strings-attached guide and sex will be all about the fun and your pleasure.

  1. Set up rules

Communicating effectively and often is an absolute must. Start as early as the night you go home together from the bar and get those ground rules down pat on day 1.

Take Jane and John as an example. Jane may think the sex is exclusive, but John thinks its non-exclusive and is sleeping with Sarah as well.

Without talking Jane, or John, or both, are going to end up hurt.

A study done by sex psychologist Justin Lehmiller PHD showed that people who set up relationship rules early were more likely to remain friends, or still be sleeping with each other a year later.

As the old saying goes: communication is key.

  1. Tell your no-strings-attached partner what you like in bed

Whether you’re into more mainstream sex, kinky sex or BDSM…let them know.

This is not just to ensure you get what you want and need from sex, but talking about sex has been proven to make sex better.

A study in 2012 found that frequent sexual communication and discussions about sexual needs, desires and boundaries led to more satisfying sex, and more frequent sex.

You deserve great sex, so get communicating and don’t be afraid to say what you want and ask them what they want in return.

  1. Your feelings might change

In this case, be honest with yourself, and the other person.

Studies have shown that we are unbelievably bad at affectively forecasting our own future. One particular study asked university students ‘‘Will this decision make me happy?’’ They found that the vast majority of people were optimistic and as a result were incredibly wrong about their future.

We cannot predict what is going to happen, and life doesn’t go to plan.

Easiest thing to do if you catch feelings?

Be brave and say something. They may like you back, they might not, but you have to know where you both stand.

  1. Be realistic

A 2011 study done by Justin Lehmiller found that 43 percent of women and 24 percent of men said they hoped their sex friend would eventually become their significant other.

If you do develop feelings, don’t think that they will eventually feel the same way towards you if you just wait a little longer.

Make your intentions and expectations clear from day one and avoid getting hurt.

  1. Have fun

If things start getting complicated and messy, just leave it.

Also, the decision to have sex should be made just for you, and for no one else.


A study done by professor Zhana Vrangalova of New York University found that those who engaged in casual sex for their own fun, enjoyment and sexual exploration, had higher than normal levels of self-esteem and satisfaction and lower levels of anxiety.

A casual no-strings-attached sexual relationship or a one night stand, if done for you and done right, can help you sexually grow, learn and be a lot of fun.

Milly Haddrick


Milly is passionate about the issues and concerns of women navigating their way through the world of sex, dating and relationships, with a side passion for brie, dark chocolate and red wine.

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