With so many options now available, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the concept of dating via a phone app. We all know about Tinder, an oldie but a goodie, that has you swiping left or right with the main focus on appearance. But now that there are so many options, one is sure to fit your needs.
Happn matches people based on close geographical location. Hinge claims to be the ‘anti-Tinder’ with an emphasis on real relationships. Coffee Meets Bagel cuts the time wasting by giving you just one personalised match per day. And The League – yet to launch in Sydney – is not dissimilar to an exclusive club, with a waitlist and all. Need some tips on how to go about it? Look no further.
Approach the app as a way to simply meet new people, as opposed to a way to meet “the one”.
Keep in mind that meeting new people opens doors.
Don’t waste too much time on back and forth messaging.
Aim to make a date to meet in person as soon as you’ve established a sustainable flow in conversation.
Agree on a first date that you feel comfortable with.
An early evening drink date is ideal as it can always turn into a dinner date if the conversation is flowing. If you don’t drink, suggest a coffee date. It’s also a good idea to tell a friend where you are going, and perhaps have them check in with you – for safety purposes, but also as an escape plan if the date hits a dead-end early on.
Know what kind of person you are looking for.
Especially the deal breakers, and deal makers! Does he make you laugh? Is he family oriented? How available is he? Do your general aspirations for the future align with his? Or does he have plans to move overseas indefinitely next Sunday?
Spend time getting to know what kind of person he is.
Not just what he does and what kind of car he drives.
Don’t over think it.
Just let it happen and allow yourself to trust the process.
“Beware the Self-Startler”.
In the words of Textbook Romance author Zoe Foster-Blake, the Self-Startler is “the guy who says the right things, does the right things, is affectionate, persistent and romantic…” but then “a few weeks – or sometimes even months – later… he realises, that it’s actually all going a little too fast for him, and he needs some space (or a hasty departure to Rio).” Also known as “ghosting”.
Don’t read into ‘signs’.
Have a real conversation instead.
Appreciate the relationship for what it is.
It’s not a failed relationship if it doesn’t result in your dream guy – you learn so much from meeting new people and every experience is different to the next. Have fun with it!
Learn what it is you want in a relationship.
Someone might not be the perfect match but there might be something about your relationship with him that you didn’t realise was so important to you until now. Use that new knowledge on future prospects.
With experience comes confidence.
That first blind date is daunting! But after a few, your nerves subside and you start to realise the beauty in meeting new people.
Even if it is the first date from hell, you still have a story to tell!
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