If you want to survive your long distance relationship, you need these 6 tips.
Long distance poses a challenge to intimacy, communication, and strength of a relationship.
Despite the misconception that lovers that live apart don’t work, a survey by the New York Post in 2018 found that 60% of long distance relationships survive the test of time. It can take its toll being miles away from the one you love, but luckily there are some tips to help make it work and come out stronger.
- Learn each other’s schedules
In order to avoid miscommunication and disappointment, it is essential to exchange timetables.
This means setting a time to call and catch up as well as establishing a regular time that suits both schedules.
There are several websites that make long distance communication infinitely more convenient. Timeanddate.com provides the best time to call across different time zones and Monday.com allows partners to share each other’s timetables. You can even add zoom meetings into the calendar!
Being informed of each other’s schedules ensures you’re not waiting around for a reply and you can get on with your life.
- Shut up and get a life
It is essential to be able to sustain your own independent world whilst in a long distance relationship.
Dr Levine, a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine explains how self-sustaining your life can enrich your relationship with a partner, “It enables both of them to have new experiences that broaden their interests and perspectives, and pursue passions that otherwise might fall dormant.”
It has the ability to distract you from the sadness of missing your lover and toxic overthinking. Pursuing hobbies and maintaining a social life will make for engaging conversation next time you catch up and ensure your whole world doesn’t come crumbling down in the event you break up. So start that podcast, take on a second job, catch up with an old friend, work on Project You.
- Get creative
It’s easy to fall into the same old routine in a long distance relationship. To preserve the spark, it is crucial to get creative.
Getting creative could involve playing games together online or watching the same movie over FaceTime. This mimics the fun activities you would do together in normal circumstances, but through the convenience of technology.
Another idea could be going old school and writing a proper heartfelt letter. There’s something intimate about putting pen to paper and letting your thoughts and feelings pour out onto the page. It usually provokes more thoughtful conversation than what gets translated over text or call.
The letter could come with a thoughtful care package filled with items they would enjoy. This could include a sexy picture of you, face masks, souvenirs, etc – a reminder that you can still care for them from afar.
This means when you want more attention, SAY SO.
When you’re busy, spell it out. Being clear and talking about hard feelings will improve your communication as well as deepen your bond. Regardless of distance, there’s nothing more damaging in a relationship than bottling up your negative emotions, because one day that lid will surely burst.
In order to prompt real talk, you could ask questions such as, “Have you struggled with anything this week?” or “Here are 3 things I love about you, what do you love about me?”. This will surely bring you closer to your partner and demonstrates how you can support each other from across the globe.
- Plan for the future
A way to liven the spirits is to brainstorm ideas for your next catch up together. Make sure you set an end date because having something to look forward to helps you stay positive. Suggest experimenting at new restaurants, going to live performances, or even planning a meal you can cook together.
So, revel in your plans to meet in Paris in July and await with pleasure the day when you can fall into each other’s embrace again.
- Appreciate the small stuff
As Joni Mitchell says in her song, Big Yellow Taxi, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”
Time apart certainly invokes a newfound appreciation in your relationship as it makes you cherish the moments you shared together. When you feel yourself detaching from the relationship, recall the qualities in your man that made you fall head over heels in love with him. You could write them down as a constant reminder or even express it to your partner to reassure them you’re still invested in the long distance relationship.
Remember to be grateful there is someone out there who loves you and remind yourself that there is an end date to the distance.
The day you’re finally together – you’ll realise long distance was definitely worth the wait.