Opinion: Why you should dump him if he tells you what to wear

Photo of three women

Fasten your seatbelts ladies and gents, because I’m about to take you on a ride in the sassy train.

First things first – Unless I ask your opinion, I don’t what your opinion.

Even after I ask for your opinion, I may not take your advice, and you have to be OK with that.

Learn it, live it and love it baby doll because I ain’t changing my outfit for you.

Don’t get me wrong, many a time I have turned to my significant other and queried “What do you think about this outfit…yay or nay?”.

Sometimes he replies with a ‘yay’, in this case we both agree my outfit looks amaze and both parties leave happy. Other times he replies with a ‘nay’, I then conclude that he is wrong, I do in fact look amaze, I still wear the outfit and both parties leave happy.

I’m happy because I’m wearing something I want to wear, and he’s happy because I’m wearing something I want to wear.

It is that simple.

Screengrab New York from Love and Hip Hop

A man telling you what you should put on your body is a red flag, and a warning sign you should take seriously.

Look, just to be clear before some highly sensitive people put their two cents in, I’m not talking about the odd suggestion here or there such as; “Oh I like the blue top on you not the orange” or “I reckon heels not flats with that dress”.

These suggestions are fine, because they are just that, suggestions.

They are not an order, they do not make you feel bad about what you are wearing, and more importantly, if I do go for the orange top and not the blue there are no follow up comments making me feel bad about it.

If these ‘suggestions’ start to turn into demands, such as “you have to wear flats when you come out with me” or “you always look terrible in orange” then this is your red flag.

This is classic controlling behaviour, and you need to dump him ASAP.

If he gets annoyed, or worse, angry when you don’t wear flats, or you wear that red dress he thinks is too revealing, then your partner is exhibiting controlling behaviour.

Screen grab of Wendy Williams
Make like Jojo and tell him to get out and leave…right now.

Controlling behaviour in a relationship is serious, and according to Psychology Today chronic criticism over the small things, like what you wear, is a sign your partner is controlling, and this could lead to further abusive and aggressive behaviour.

If your partner is telling you what to do, try not to rationalise it by playing it down as something ‘small’.

Him criticising you over the way you dress is a demeaning thing to do.

My honey’s, you deserve to feel accepted, loved and validated by your significant other.

As soon as he starts to tell you what to wear, dump him, and make sure you look bomb as hell doing it.

Milly Haddrick


Milly is passionate about the issues and concerns of women navigating their way through the world of sex, dating and relationships, with a side passion for brie, dark chocolate and red wine.


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