How the Taxi Cab Theory Applies to Modern Dating
“Men are like cabs. When they are available their light goes on, they wake up one day and they decide they’re ready to settle down, and they turn their light on, the next woman they pick up, boom that’s the one they’ll marry. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck”. – Miranda, Sex and The City
In the dating world today, filled with ‘about me’ profiles and the fleeting slide into the dm, finding the one, or someone ready to commit can seem harder than ever .
Since the beginning of the newfound trope of modern dating the situationship, online dating apps and dating rosters, finding a guy who’s up for a genuine relationship at the end of the typical ‘getting to know someone period’, is seeming more far inbetween.
This is making many women question what actually makes a guy ‘settle and commit, or better yet, how much “ settling” does one need to ‘settle down’ ?
This conflicting idea between a man’s feelings as well as timing, has actually been something we as women have tried to figure out for decades and it might be simpler than we all think. Popularised by the infamous 90’s hit, Sex and The City, the show’s character Miranda, hypothesised the idea of the Taxi Cab Theory , that aims to answer this very question.
What is the Taxi Cab Theory?
The Taxi Cab Theory claims that when a man is ready to commit, it doesn’t matter who’s in front of him, it matters that his “light is on.” According to this logic, the next woman who hops in is the one he settles down with.
The core of the Taxi Cab Theory is timing. It suggests that a man’s readiness for commitment matters more than the emotional connection he shares with his partner. Sometimes, no matter how deep the love or how strong the connection, if he’s not in a place where he’s ready to commit, emotionally, mentally, or practically, it won’t happen.
And when he is ready? The decision can feel sudden, the theory suggests when a guy decides to commit, it’s about the phase of life he’s in. Maybe he’s in a time where he’s chasing his career, or trying to find himself or healing from past wounds, in this time even the most perfect relationship might not ‘ stick the landing’, simply because that commitment didn’t align with where he was or felt he was going at the time.
The taxi cab theory shows as well, that then suddenly, a guy can hit a point where he could be financially stable or sees his friends settling down, he’s over his wild years, and just like that his ‘light’ switches on.
Lights on, Lights off
So you could be the supportive girlfriend who stood by him through his broke, figuring-it-out years… only for him to turn around and propose to the woman he meets three months after your breakup, simply because he was actually ready. (And let’s be honest: we’ve all seen this play out. In friend circles. On social media. Maybe in our own lives). But that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.
Timing vs Connection
Now more than ever before, the turnover time between new relationships is seeming increasingly quicker, read our pancake theory story for more of this aspect of dating today. We are given access to a list of potential partners, whilst also feeling this impending doom that we may never find ‘the one’.
Of course much of relationships are about timing, but it can be very useful to think about the ideas of the taxi cab theory, before jumping into dating someone new, it’s best to start with open communication by checking if you both are on the same page with what you want at this moment and time in your lives.
Instead of wondering whether his light is on, maybe the better question is: Do I want to take this ride? Because you’re not just a passenger you get to choose the direction too.
