By Yael Brender
We all have people in our lives that are a negative presence – perhaps they make us feel bad about ourselves, they don’t make us happy or detract from our wellbeing.
The good news is that in today’s culture, the focus is increasingly shifting towards eradicating toxicity from our lives.
Sarah Wilson cut out sugar, the FDA is looking at banning trans fats – and we can take a step back from people that bring negativity to our lives.
Life is stressful enough without having to deal with extra drama brought on by relationships that are strained – and stress is unhealthy for mind, body and spirit.
If a particular relationship isn’t part of a healthy lifestyle, then you have every right to terminate or limit that relationship. Doing so doesn’t reflect on how much you love or care for that person, it just means that you recognise that you’re entitled to love yourself first.
1. Saying no
If you have been invited to an event where the person will be, simply decline politely. You don’t need to say why, but you can invent an excuse if it makes you feel more comfortable.
2. Letting go of resentment
Resentment, hatred and anger will hurt you, not them. Think about the inner life of the other person – perhaps they have reasons for acting the way they do. Thinking only affectionate and compassionate thoughts towards the person.
3. Talking to them
Make sure the person knows that you value them and their friendship (if you do). You can decide how much you want to share with them – let them know that you need to step back for your own reasons.
4. Talking about them
Only speak kindly of the person to others, especially mutual friends. There’s no need to say unkind things, even if the person has upset you. If the person comes up in conversation, you can always change the subject or say something tactful, such as, “I haven’t seen her in a while. I hope she’s well.”
5. Putting yourself first
Loving and respecting yourself is the first step to receiving love and respect from others. Letting go of an non-constructive and non-supportive relationship is an excellent way to do this.
You will enjoy being in control of your life, environment and relationships. And remember, there’s no need to feel guilty about putting yourself first. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
By BB Intern Yael Brender
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