Mindfulness can lead to better sex?

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Being more present, and in the moment can lead not only to a better life, but better sex.

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Tantric sex is the most amazing sex we can have as it not only feels wonderful, it teaches us much about ourselves along the way

Bondi Beauty spoke to Annette Baulch from Oz Tantra, a tantric sex specialist.

 So what is tantric sex and is it call it’s cracked up to be?

Tantra is simply the ability to be more present with, and to experience life more fully. In sex, this turns the ordinary into extraordinary as we experience it at a deeper and more fulfilling level, where we are not only in union with another but also more fully in union with ourselves.

The focus is more on what is happening on the inside of us (our feelings) rather than what we’re doing, or what we look like on the outside. This allows us to experience ourselves at the level of mind, body, feeling, heart, soul and spirit, and to share it with another.

We can grow from childhood conditioned to think of our bodies and sex as naughty or bad, and no matter how openly we’ve been brought up this shame message still affects us as it is endemic in our culture.

Because of this when we’re sexual we become less present to ourselves (without even realizing it) to avoid feeling not only this shame but whatever fears and negative experiences we’ve had in our own lives.

This means that we feel and enjoy much less than what we are capable of. Tantra is about healing this split and giving ourselves permission to fully show up as the loving, sexual, spiritual beings we are.
What makes tantric sex different to regular sex and can anyone master it?
Tantric sex is very different, as it is less about stimulation through friction, tension and striving for the ultimate release of orgasm.

Tantra is about relaxation, connection and awakening with an unending variety of feelings, experiences and orgasms that happen along the way.

This is what we are capable of when we become present and comfortable in who we are. Tantric sex is uplifting rather than draining as it moves the sexual pleasure up through the whole body rather than just letting it drain down and out.

It is the most amazing sex we can have as it not only feels wonderful it teaches us much about ourselves along the way. This is because to experience it we take our attention to what is happening inside of us, as in meditation, and access not only greater pleasure but also our body wisdom and intuitive, heart and spiritual intelligence.

There is a whole party going on inside you and if you miss it you’re missing out on a big part of life. Tantra is a normal part of everybody, and anyone can bring at least some level of Tantra into their lives and benefit from it, you just need to be willing as there are gifts to be had from any level of practice.

It takes time to master the skills involved but if you have the desire there is no reason why you can’t even be a master in it if you so choose.

Tantra focuses on the dance between separation and connection both in ourselves and with others and as such can bring up powerful longings and feelings so it is important that the framework you choose to learn it in is supportive for you to deal with these in a positive way.
Who should attend a Tantra workshop?

Anybody with an open mind can attend a Tantra workshop but it is important to do some research about which particular workshop is right for you, as there are a great variety of different teaching styles (which can be confusing at first) and you need to find one that feels right for you.

Check out their websites, preferably speak to them in person to get a feel for where they’re coming from and trust your gut instinct. Oztantra workshops can be attended by anybody who wants to learn more about themselves and to understand their sexuality at a deeper level, is focussed on the heart and grounded in our everyday reality.

We find it works particularly well for long term couples looking to deepen their relationship once the kids have grown up, they’re looking for something new sexually and there is space for them to reconnect in a whole new way. Where they move beyond just romantic love into an experience of the infinite love that lies beyond it.

Can you go as an individual or must you be in a couple?

Because Tantra is ultimately about getting to know yourself it is an individual journey so attending an workshop on your own is fine. There are even some practices that are important to learn on your own. If you can’t feel yourself you have no hope of connecting with another.

It is faster to learn Tantra with another but it is also messier as well as there are more layers of complication involved. Some workshops are designed for couples only but are usually clearly defined as this. Oztantra workshops, sessions, getaways and webinars are available and attended by any person who wants to learn more about themselves and works for adults of all ages, singles (unless specified) and couples.

Fore more info, check out www.oztantra.com

 

Renae Leith-Manos

CONTRIBUTOR

Renae Leith-Manos travels the world writing (www.renaesworld.com.au). She has had a colourful media career as a journalist in many magazines and newspapers, and spends her time writing, consulting to new businesses, running, doing yoga, swimming & cycling.
She's likes healthy eating, but thinks chocolate cake is just as important as kale chips.
She spends most weekends hanging out with her gorgeous twins.

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