Attachment Styles Shape Fashion Identity
Understanding romantic attachment styles may unlock the secrets behind our fashion choices, and why some women’s wardrobes are curated for connection, protection, invisibility or pure expression.
Attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised, were first introduced by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s and later developed further by Mary Ainsworth.
While originally created to explain infant-caregiver relationships, the theory now extends to adult behaviours in relationships, and surprisingly, perhaps even to the way we dress.
Attachment styles suggests that early childhood experiences shape how individuals form relationships and interact with the world. Beyond romantic dynamics or communication styles, this psychological framework may also influence something more visual: what we wear and how we present ourselves to the world.
These emotional blueprints don’t just shape how people relate to others—they also shape how they relate to themselves through their fashion choices. Someone with a secure attachment might confidently repeat outfits without fear of judgment, while an anxiously attached person could spend hours perfecting a look for reassurance.
An avoidantly attached dresser might reject anything too loud or revealing, preferring to blend in rather than stand out.
Meanwhile, individuals with a disorganised attachment style may swing between extremes, one day dressing in bold, boundary-pushing pieces and the next retreating into oversized, protective layers. These subtle yet telling behaviours influence shopping habits, style confidence, and even how someone feels when they look in the mirror.
Fashion can be a visual form of emotional expression. From oversized blazers to hyper-feminine accessories, attachment styles are influencing more than just texts and boundaries in dating they’re subtbly shaping style identities. Here’s how:
Secure Attachment Styles: Effortless Confidence
A securely attached person has a strong sense of self. They’re emotionally grounded, comfortable in relationships, and self-validated. That ease trickles down into every layer of their life, including style.
People who have a secure attachment style, often exude a calm, confident approach to style, with fashion choices likely reflecting emotional balance, authenticity, and quiet confidence. Rather than dressing to impress, they dress to feel comfortable, put-together, and true to who they are.
A Secure attachment’s style personal choice of clothing is less about controlling perception, and more about supporting expression, outfits rarely feel forced or disjointed.
Trend setting is not a priority for a secure attachment style, their focus is on maintaining a balanced timeless look.
An example of the ultimate secure fashion style is a pair of Levi’s 501 jeans, a Diish cotton shirt, and minimalist gold jewellery worn with intention is key. A muted palette of neutrals, like white, cream, black and tan are secure wardrobe staples.
A style icon for this style is Emma Mac, known for her effortlessly chic style, emphasising simplicity and elegance. Other fashion muses who embody a secure attachment in their style include Zendaya, with her confident versatility and trend-setting approach, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, whose polished minimalism reflects self-assurance and timeless taste.
A secure person’s attachment fashion style isn’t about perfection, it’s about alignment. It doesn’t over-explain itself. It walks into the room softly but leaves a strong impression.
Go-to Brands for Secure Attachment Styles:
- Diish
- Abrand
- Naked Vice
- Veja
- By Charlotte
Anxiously Attached Styles: Dressed to Impress
Anxiously attached people crave connection, approval, and a sense of being chosen. When it comes to fashion, they often seek to control how they’re perceived. This style archetype is the most emotionally invested in fashion. Validation is the currency, and fashion is the transaction.
Investment and statement pieces are a must for the anxiously attached, statement accessories, meticulously planned outfits and matching sets of cohesion. The Anxiously attached are a Pinterest board coming to life, with outfits planned weeks in advance, always followed by last-minute panic buying.
An example to achieve this look: a House of CB corset top, with low rise fitted pants, strappy heels and glossy lips. A palette of soft pinks, creams, and red turn heads and emit hyper-feminine energy. The style muse for this aesthetic is Sophia Tuxford, who is the epitome of Pinterest girl meets perfection, with big hair blowouts and structured pieces.
The anxiously attached don’t just dress for themselves—they dress for everyone in the room, but there’s beauty in that vulnerability.
While the securely attached may dress in a relaxed way, the anxious dress with heart. Style icons like Bella Hadid, known for her ever-evolving fashion that reflects both vulnerability and boldness, and Olivia Rodrigo, whose outfits often nod to romantic nostalgia and emotional storytelling, exemplify this attachment style in fashion.
Go-to Brands for Anxiously Attached Styles:
- House of CB
- With Jean
- Meshki
- Bec and Bridge
- Lioness
Avoidantly Attached Styles: The Emotionally Distant Minimalist
The avoidantly attached are self-sufficient, emotionally independent, and terrified of vulnerability. When it comes to clothes, they don’t want to reveal too much, style is less about expression and more about control.
Fashion for the avoidantly attached is about protection through precision, streamlining a staple capsule wardrobe. The absence of colour, texture and trend pieces is entirely intentional. It’s about reducing emotional exposure and avoiding over-interpretation.
To achieve this look, an oversized blazer is common, tailored pants, and a tank top with all-encompassing monochrome features bringing together a staple silhouette. The Avoidant attached never gravitate towards colour, it’s black, white and grey that bring together their palette.
A visual representation of this style is Sophia Richie Grainge (post-wedding era), who is nothing less than quiet luxury, capsule wardrobe perfection and consistent silhouettes. Sophia Richie Grainge masters the classic gold hoops, midi skirts and oversized blazers. Other fashion icons for this fashion include Victoria Beckham, whose signature structured tailoring and monochrome palette speak to emotional control and restraint, and Zoë Kravitz, whose minimalist, androgynous aesthetic creates a stylish barrier of mystery while maintaining effortless chic.
The avoidantly attached dresser doesn’t beg to be seen but is always noticed.
Go-to Brands for Avoidantly Attached Styles:
- New balance
- Acne Studios
- Kookai
- Le Specs
- Mejuri
Disorganised Attachment Styles: Emotional Whiplash, Fashion Icon
The Disorganised attached individual craves connection but also fears it. Relationships are confusing, intense and unpredictable. Fashion is pure art to the disorganised attached, it’s style that expressive, guarded, polished and undone.
A wardrobe of pure chaos, with nothing but style contradictions reflect this attachment style. Unconventional pairings are a signature, sheer tops, asymmetrical hems, and nostalgic prints. Every outfit is a storyline, for the perfect look: a thrifted 2000’s mesh top, low rise jeans, platform boots and statement vintage sunglasses. Every outfit that is styled screams main character, its visceral colours are an experiment of identity.
A style muse to emulate these styling ideas is Devon Lee Carson whose maximalist outfits offer hyper-feminine pieces, with nostalgic styling. A leopard print will never be forgotten. Other fashion icons who reflect this fashion style include Rihanna, whose fearless, ever-changing looks move from edgy streetwear to couture drama with emotional intensity, and Julia Fox, whose boundary-pushing, chaotic-glam style blurs the lines between art, rebellion, and self-exploration.
For the disorganised attachment style, fashion is their language it’s a little confusing, but it’s unforgettable.
Go-to Brands for Disorganised Attachment Styles:
- Motel rocks
- I.AM.GIA
- Jaded London
- Vintage Coach, Diesel and Juicy Couture
- Depop
