There’s something powerful about the circle of female friendships who grow alongside a woman from girlhood to adulthood.
Female Friendships In childhood, AKA: girlhood, is often defined by giggles and innocence: braid trains at sleepovers, friendship bracelets with hidden meanings, and lots of private thoughts and secrets.
But as the teenage years fade and the turbulence of the twenties takes hold, with dating dilemmas, career pivots, and the search for identity. Those same friendships are often tested, reshaped, and reborn.
By the time a woman reaches her thirties, the questions shift. It’s no longer just about who she wants to become, but who truly knows they’re along the way.
The modern renaissance of female friendship. No longer a childhood phase, the power of close-knit female bonds in your adult years is proving to be one of the most grounding, healing, and joyful forces in a woman’s life.
From Girlhood to Grownhood: The Emotional Glow Up of Female Friendships
Girlhood is often painted in pastel tones, innocent, joyful, a little chaotic. People form friendships quickly, fiercely. They’re my best friend because we have the same scrunchie, because you hate maths too, because they both love Hilary Duff. It’s fast. Unfiltered. Magical in its intensity.
What happens when the backdrop of girlhood fades, and adult life takes centre stage?
Your 20s arrive, messy and magnificent. Dating, building careers, maybe moving out of home for the first time. Everything feels new, and at times unsteady. During this decade, female friendships become anchors.
They’re the friends who come over with wine and noodles when your situationship crumbles. The ones who give you pep talks on the bathroom floor of a club, or send “just checking in” texts that land at the exact right time. They’re your therapists, stylists, life coaches and hype girls all rolled into one.
Girlhood in your 30s is where the true magic of grownhood reveals itself.
Friendship becomes less about proximity, and more about presence. They might not see each other every day. Some are having babies. Some are travelling the world. Some are rebuilding after breakups or heartbreak. But when they do speak, it’s soul food. It’s ease.
And unlike younger years, they’re no longer trying to match outfits, they’re matching energy, shared values and emotional safety. These friendships aren’t just social, they’re spiritual.
The Science Behind Sisterhood of Female Friendships
Turns out post-catch-up glow with girlfriends isn’t just a vibe, it’s science.
According to psychologist Shelley E. Taylor, who led a pioneering study at UCLA, women are biologically wired to seek connection in times of stress. Her research introduced the concept of the “tend-and-befriend” response, a unique female alternative to the traditional “fight-or-flight” model. When women reach out to trusted friends, their bodies release oxytocin, often dubbed the “bonding hormone,” which helps reduce anxiety and boost feelings of calm, trust, and emotional security.
This isn’t just feel-good fluff, it’s evolutionary. Taylor’s work found that these hormonal surges aren’t just soothing, they’re protective, supporting mental health and buffering stress. In a world that constantly demands more from women, friendship becomes a literal form of self-preservation.
People with close friendships tend to live longer, experience less chronic illness, and report higher levels of joy than those without meaningful social bonds. Strong social relationships are the greatest predictor of long-term health and fulfilment, according to Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Robert Waldinger.
That weekend away, the late-night voice notes, the group chat that knows your every mood shift, it’s not just a luxury. It’s a biological necessity.
Friendship, especially the deep, nourishing kind shared with other females, is one of the most powerful wellness tools, and we didn’t even have to buy it in a bottle.
Unlearning Competition, Embracing Co-Elevation
For decades, female friendships were framed by a damaging narrative, one that positioned women as competitors rather than collaborators. From high school dramas to reality television, media often painted a picture of female relationships as catty, conditional, or defined by jealousy. But today’s generation of women are pushing back, their friendships are no longer rooted in rivalry, they’re a quiet rebellion against it.
In adulthood, real female friendships thrive not on comparison, but on co-elevation, coined by author Keith Ferrazzi, co-elevation is the idea that when one person in your circle succeeds, it uplifts the entire group. In female friendship, it becomes a kind of emotional and spiritual collaboration, rooted in support, not scarcity.
This kind of friendship is not performative. It isn’t about matching brunch outfits or highlight reels. It’s the group chat that celebrates a new job, even when someone else is still navigating rejection.
It’s the woman who helps her friend pack for an international move, all while silently mourning the absence she’ll feel once she’s gone. It’s organising a breakup brunch, complete with healing crystals and affirmations, instead of advising her to “just move on.”
These women share more than updates, they share resources, softness, and strength. They repost each other’s businesses, recommend each other for dream roles, and remind one another of their worth when the mirror feels cloudy. They are hype squads, mentors, and safe spaces—even when their own lives are in flux.
Co-elevation means there is no race. No scarcity mindset. One woman’s glow doesn’t diminish the next, it illuminates a path for others to follow. It’s the understanding that success is sweeter when shared, and that individual win’s echo through the collective.
Among women in their 20s and 30s, this shift is palpable. Competition is being replaced with conscious celebration. Jealousy gives way to joy. And friendships are no longer about who arrives first, they’re about arriving together.
Because when one shines, they all feel the warmth. And in that shared light, modern girlhood finds its most powerful form.
Curating Your Sisterhood in Adulthood
Not all friendships are bound by childhood memories, and in adulthood, that can be a gift.
For many women, their most meaningful and transformative relationships aren’t inherited from the schoolyard or teenage diaries, but consciously cultivated in coffee shops, fitness studios, group chats, and quiet moments of mutual understanding.
In their 20s and 30s, women begin to realise that friendship is not just something that happens, it’s something they choose. And in that choice, there is empowerment.
Unlike the automatic closeness of childhood friends, built through shared classes, neighbourhoods, or school uniforms, adult friendships are often formed by recognising emotional resonance. These friendships are not defined by frequency, but by depth. Some are the all-day-texting, wine-night-planning, tear-laughing types. Others check in quietly, in voice notes or surprise DMs that say, “thinking of you.” Both are equally sacred.
Women in their 20s and 30s are redefining what sisterhood looks like. It’s no longer measured in length of time, but in emotional alignment. It’s not about filling a quota but honouring a connection. It’s choosing each other again and again, even as life gets louder.
This new sisterhood doesn’t require history, it requires intention. And in a world that often pushes women to be self-sufficient to the point of isolation, choosing closeness becomes a radical act.
