A Relationship might not be forever, but sometimes that can be the beauty of it
As the wellness movement continues to gain traction and therapy, and emotional intelligence and attachment styles are becoming everyday conversations, especially among Gen Z and millennial women, the way relationships are being viewed and thought about is also evolving.
“A season, A reason, or a Lifetime” is everywhere, from Instagram captions and TikTok montages: “People come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime”. Originally attributed in a poem by Brian A. “Drew” Chalker, written in 1995, this saying has evolved into a modern philosophy.
Psychologist and Author, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, best known for her book Loving Bravely, emphasises the concept of Relational Self-Awareness, encouraging people to reflect on their relationship patterns and the lessons they offer. She advocates viewing relationships as opportunities for personal growth, regardless of their duration.
And this age-old saying is resurfacing with powerful resonance: people come into life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.
This philosophy isn’t just poetic; it’s a mental framework for understanding the emotional architecture of personal connections. Wellness isn’t just green juice and journaling. It’s also emotional clarity. As people become more self-aware, the goal is no longer to keep everyone around forever, but to recognise who belongs where, and why.
Seasonal Relationship: Temporary Yet Transformative
Seasonal relationships while often brief, tend to leave a lasting impact. These are the connections that align with specific chapters in life. A university friendship that held you through a first breakup, a summer romance that reignited confidence, or the boss who mentored you through a glow-up era before you outgrew the job.
Such relationships reflect the person we were in a moment of change. Like a sunset, fleeting but unforgettable, they are meant to be appreciated, not clung to.
These bonds rarely end with resentment, but rather with a sense of gratitude. They are emotional catalysts that arrive during transitional times and exit gracefully once their purpose is fulfilled.
Honouring the presence of seasonal relationships, rather than mourning their brevity, is a powerful act of self-awareness.
These individuals arrive at moments of emotional, physical or spiritual change or movement, offering exactly what is needed for the next step forward.
Reason Relationship: Can Be Lessons In Disguise
Some people come into life like a plot twist. It might start effortlessly, but eventually, the universe makes it clear, they are here to teach something. These are your “reason” relationships.
Often, they bring growth through friction. Whether it’s the friend who mirrored hidden insecurities, the partner who unearthed deep-seated wounds, or the fleeting situationship that forced self-prioritisation, these encounters are rarely easy.
Unlike the gentle fade of seasonal connections, reason relationships can often carry weight. They’re challenging, sometimes even painful. But they illuminate unmet needs, confront unresolved emotions, and reveal personal strength that might otherwise remain dormant.
They serve a spiritual function: they reflect your unmet needs, unresolved wounds, or forgotten strength. And while they often don’t stay, become stepping stones.
Acknowledging the reason, and learning from it, is what transforms emotional disruption into emotional intelligence.
Lifetime Relationship: Are The Anchor People
Then there are the rare ones, THE Enduring connections, those that weather years, challenges and change. These lifetime relationships are not always romantic, often they can be a best friend, a parent, a sibling, or a partner who feels like home. Lifetime relationships aren’t always loud or Instagram perfect. They’re consistent, stable, real.
Lifetime connections are the ones who stay, even as individuals evolve. They celebrate the wins, support through the lows, and often offer honest reflections along the way. While modern culture idolises the thrilling and the new, these relationships thrive in the quiet moments.
They are your emotional safe place, a reminder that while not every relationship lasts, some love really is designed to. They’re rare, but when they exist, they anchor a person amidst life’s inevitable chaos.
Reframing the Exit, Letting Go with Grace
For women navigating the vibrant, often overwhelming rhythm of their twenties and thirties, dating, career-building, exploring identity, it’s easy to feel disoriented by shifting social circles or relationship breakdowns. But the season, reason, lifetime framework offers emotional grounding. It affirms that not everyone is meant to stay, and that’s not only okay, but it’s also natural. A part of everyone’s life.
Understanding the purpose of each relationship, past or present, is one of the most powerful forms of self-care, as well as this.
Because the truth is, every person who enters your life helps build a better, more evolved version of you. Some stay to watch you become it. Others simply light the match.
