It is possible to change your life. With some helpful insights, almost anything really is possible.

Change in any aspect of your life IS possible. Entrepreneur John Carter spoke to Bondi Beauty.

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Q: How does someone find the courage to leave a negative situation in his or her life?

A: Working out what you actually want can be the hardest step.

1) During meditation or contemplation just quiet time on your own, reduce that voice in your head to just a single word or two, by asking yourself what is this voice telling me to do?

Leave? Quit? Speak? Write? Dance? Act? Exercise? Sell? Switch? Move on? Let go? Ask? Learn? Forgive? Whatever it is, write it down. You may have different words for each area of your life.

2) Now you have to take the difficult step of consciously acknowledging that this is what you really want. It’s OK if you don’t think it’s possible for you. It’s OK if you don’t see how you could ever have it. But don’t deny that you want it.

It’s OK if you don’t think it’s possible for you. It’s OK if you don’t see how you could ever have it. But don’t deny that you want it.

3) You lower your consciousness when you do that. When you look at your overweight body, admit that you really want to be fit and healthy. When you light up that next cigarette, don’t deny that you want to be a non-smoker. When you meet the potential mate of your dreams, don’t deny that you’d love to be in a relationship with that person. When you meet a person who seems to be at total peace with herself or himself, don’t deny that you crave that level of inner peace too. Get yourself out of denial. Move instead to a place where you admit, “I really do want this, but I just don’t feel I currently have the ability to get it.” It’s perfectly OK to want something that you don’t think you can have. And you’re almost certainly wrong in concluding that you can’t have it. But first, stop lying to yourself and pretending you don’t really want it.

Get yourself out of denial. Move instead to a place where you admit, “I really do want this, but I just don’t feel I currently have the ability to get it.”

Q How long should we give ourselves to leave a negative situation? (Job/relationship etc.)

A: It’s not so much about time but distance. Everything seems simpler from a distance.  Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly. You are more than whatever is troubling you.

A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment.  Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment.  Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you.  Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now.  Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge.  What advice would you give her or him?  If you could step back and instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Are you following your own best advice right now? Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking.  Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.

Q: What strategies can we employ to help us move forwards?

A: Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Today is a new beginning, and you should treat it that way.  Stop thinking about what might have been and start looking at what can be.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

Say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me.  Dear Future, I am ready now!”  Because a great beginning always occurs at the exact moment you thought would be the end of everything.

 Q: Letting go of the past

A: When we think someone has hurt us in the past, we build up defences to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one.

We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all. Remember life is a journey not a destination and be willing to see that there was a perfection in it in hindsight and you can now see you’re a stronger person because of it. Also think of it like this, if that someone knew better he/she would have done better, and you can’t give away what you don’t have. Acknowledging this softens your feelings for that person and moves you into forgiveness.

Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around. We can do this by letting go without even encountering the person we want to forgive.

We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.

 Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around

Q: How do we let go of negative events? How do we think, what strategies can we use, what do we do when we find out thoughts drifting back?

A: Think of it like this, if that someone knew better he/she would have done better. Acknowledging this softens your feelings for that person and moves you into forgiveness. Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around. We can do this by letting go without even encountering the person we want to forgive. Stay present by saying out loud to those thoughts drifting back “Stop. Leave me alone.” And funnily enough they do.

No matter how difficult it may seem, make the choice to live consciously. Do not succumb to that half-conscious realm of fear-based thinking, filling your life with distractions to avoid facing what you feel in those silent spaces between your thoughts. Don’t die without embracing the daring adventure your life is meant to be. You may go broke. You may experience rejection repeatedly. You may endure multiple dysfunctional relationships. But these are all milestones along the path of a life lived courageously. They are your private victories, carving a deeper space within you to be filled with an abundance of joy, happiness, and fulfilment. So go ahead and feel the fear – then summon the courage to follow your dreams anyway. That is strength undefeatable.

John Carter is an Intuitive advisory consultant from Lifestyle Advantage

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Renae Leith-Manos

Editor and Founder of Bondi Beauty

Renae Leith-Manos loves fitness, new beauty products, long chats and long flights. She is at her best when traveling the world writing about luxury hotels and Michelin Star restaurants (www.renaesworld.com.au). She has had a colourful media career as a journalist inmagazines and newspapers, in Australia and Asia. She spends her time writing, cooking, consulting to new businesses, running and working out.

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