By Renae Leith
I have had a lot to say about dating over the years. The last article I wrote asserting that Eastern suburbs Sydney men over 40 years of age needed a decent recession to stop putting chemicals up their nose and start being present for the women in their lives went viral.
But that was back in 2017, and here we are in 2020. And the recession I wrote about in the above article is here, but all I keep reading and hearing is that it has never been tougher to find love.
However, I do not agree with that sentiment.
I turn my attention for a moment to my fabulous male London friend, lets call him Simon (not his real name).
Simon is dominating the chat amongst my single friends with his serious romancing and upskilling in the covid dating department, and he is winning.
Simon tells us all he doesn’t like dating, but from where I sit, I can see he gets a lot of fun and enjoyment out of dating, and is determined to find not just a girlfriend but the love of his life with or without social distancing.
The other night he asked a girl he met online on a date, and given London is again in lockdown, he ordered both her and himself the same meal and wine on Uber eats – and all at the same time. What a novel idea.
Case in point- creativity in dating, as well as thoughtfulness, always wins points with women.
They both dressed up as if they were going to meet in person. Each accepted the uber delivery in their respective apartments, and sat down and ate the meal and drank the wine together, chatting away whilst sitting on zoom.
Now that’s cool. And the date was a huge success.
I haven’t heard of anyone doing that here yet, but I have heard a lot about the changing behaviour of single men. And it’s all good.
The fast and furious dating of the past 5 years or more seems to have eased with the pandemic, with many girls and guys taking a slower, more considered approach. A less is more kind of concept.
A lot more women are meeting men in real life rather than on apps, and perhaps that is because guys seem to be more open now to approaching women and striking up conversations.
Women I know have met guys in coffee shops, supermarkets and even at the gym. And this is a far easier way to connect than apps, as both people know simultaneously, in real time, if there is chemistry.
But, yes, despite the improvement in real life meets, couples are also still meeting and connecting on apps. Bumble is the app de jour.
But even bumble is, well humbler, and slower than the dating apps of a few years ago.
Girls have to approach guys, and the guys are a little gentler, kinder and more submissive. They can’t bamboozle the girls in the same way ( as they don’t do the chasing). And maybe the girls are gentler too?
And sex? Whilst it’s certainly not off the agenda, it isn’t happening as fast or furiously as it once was to the people I am speaking to.
One of the bonuses of the pandemic is couples are not jumping into bed as fast. It is making singles pause that little longer to question how well they really know this person, and what they want from the connection.
Call me old fashioned, but isn’t that a great thing? And taking that bit longer is far more likely to lead to better sex once you get there.
And many of my girlfriends are reporting meeting men who want real relationships and genuine connection – at last. The pandemic has brought a lot of our hopes and dreams into reality, and our love life is a big part of that.
These changing times have forced us to ask ourselves what we REALLY want from every area of our life.
So from where I sit, there has never been a better time to be single as a woman here in Sydney.
Just take your time, get to know people and don’t settle.
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