Ah, love… At first it was rainbows and butterflies, maybe even puppies, but then you got dumped. Now what?
Breakups may come in many forms, but they’re never easy – unless the person you’re dating hates avocado and doesn’t appreciate the new palette you impulsively purchased from Sephora…
We hear about breakups all the time, whether it be from the gals or the celeb gossip we secretly obsess over.
But often, that doesn’t quite prepare us for the realness of experiencing it.
Here are our 7 tips for dealing with getting dumped – and a broken heart:
Spoiler alert: it’s going to hurt, and yes, that’s scary. But it can only get better from here.
According to breakup coach Eddie Corbano, known for his blog LovesAGame, there are seven stages everyone goes through in the breakup recovery process.
Much like the process of moving on from grief, you will first encounter shock, denial, and a descent into emotional hell. Not fun. But after that, you’ll experience acceptance of your situation, you’ll choose to let go of your ex and finally, you will move on.
It’s by no means an easy journey, but you will learn, and you will grow as a person because if there is one thing breakups help you do, it’s they help you rediscover yourself and what you want in life.
2. No contact
It might be tempting to keep in touch with your ex in the aftermath of a breakup, but this could be a mistake.
We’re not saying you should boycott your ex from your life forever, but it’s in both of your best interests to have some time apart and implement the no contact rule.
By no contact, we mean ZERO communication. Nada. Zilch.
This is one of the hardest parts of a breakup, but in the long term, it will allow both of you to reflect on the situation and move on properly.
3. Ditch the excuses and start working out
You’ve probably heard this a million times, but dedicating more time to fitness does wonders for you physically, emotionally and psychologically. Not only will your self-confidence go through the roof, you’ll also boost your emotional and psychological well-being. In fact, a Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam study found that those who exercise are more likely to report satisfaction and happiness in their life than those who don’t.
4. Write it down
So what if it’s cheesy? Journaling is in, not to mention it’s such a therapeutic way to deal with everything you’ve bottled-up and what you’ve learnt from the breakup.
All those feels you’re experiencing? The love, the heartbreak, the resentment? Memories of when you were together and when it went downhill? Write it all down. Even if you feel angry or lost for words, or you don’t know what or how to feel. Treat your journal as your safe place, where you can vent, reflect and heal.
4. Create a feel-good playlist
Spotify is your friend here. In the aftermath of getting dumped, it will be painful listening to all those songs you once shared with your ex or even sad breakup songs that make you even more sad.
Pro tip: Avoid those songs at all costs. Create a separate playlist dedicated to feeling good about yourself and embracing the single life. Embrace those good vibes.
5. Surround yourself with the squad
Don’t push your friends and family away. Instead, let them in and embrace your support network, because you have so much love around you, and your squad will remind you that you’re better off without your ex.
6. Keep yourself busy
DO LITERALLY ANYTHING. A study from the University of Colorado shows that the placebo effect is real. Doing something rather than nothing is the best scientific way to well, get over your ex. This is because just believing you’re getting sh*t done to move on can influence the parts of your brain that are to do with regulating your emotions and well, your heartbreak. Plus, keeping busy is the best way to keep your mind off the breakup.